A Back Story in Christmas Letters, Chapter 01

from Mr. Mayhem*

December 1990

Merry Christmas to all my friends and family!

These have been some eventful years! 

I graduated from high school in 1979 and decided to skip college. I'd been working in the oil field since I was 16 and was making a name for myself there. The guys liked me and I was getting the respect of my co-workers and bosses. Why leave such a good thing?

It was hard work and I was working a lot - which I like. There is something really satisfying about putting in a full, hard day of work. I just feels really good. The other thing is that everyday I come home with all my fingers still on my hands is like a little victory. The oil field is a rough place to work and there are not many who can work it for very long without a serious accident.

Now, I'm not saying that I've been accident free. I've had plenty of near misses. In fact, once I got hit in the back of the head with drilling pipe. That is some heavy stuff. Every time I think about it I wonder just how I was able to survive that. After I woke up, I seemed OK so I went back to work. That is just what you do in this business, get up and get after it. There is no time for just hanging around. That's for retirement.

Anyway, my oil field days are now behind me. I don't live in oil field country any more. The great state of ****** asked me to leave after I got arrested for having some marijuana. I think they thought I was dealing at first but when they realized I was only using it myself for the headaches, they cut me a break. I completed probation which included treatment and living in a half-way house in the mid-west, so my record was wiped out, like it never even happened. I'm pretty lucky to have gotten such a break on a felony charge like that. 

It's not too bad here though. I've started playing bass guitar and really like it. And people are telling me all the time how good I am at it. I suppose that I am but really, I just love to play. I've played piano, trumpet, french horn but I've never connected with them the way I do with the bass. I don't know. Maybe it's because I see the effect that a solid bass groove has on the dance floor. The girls totally dig it and it shows, if you know what I mean.

I've started working as an electrician. Right now, I am working toward my Journeyman's licensing. I plan to get my Master's license and go to work for myself. I'm also thinking of going to college for an engineering degree. 

I don't know what the next 10 years of my life will bring. Maybe I'll finally meet that pretty lady I've been seeing around in the meetings. She has the best smile.

So long all! 

Mr. Mayhem

*This is written from Mr. Mayhem's point of view as the things that happened during this time have bearing on the whole of the story.

A back story in Christmas Letters, The Introduction

I feel as if I need to tell the back story of Mr. and Mrs. Mayhem and how we got to where we are today.

Why? Because I am totally self-consumed. DUH!

Ok. To be fair, that is only part of the reason. The real reason I need to do this? We have had a whole lot of ugly in our lives apart and together. We have had a whole lot of beautiful too for that matter but lately, it seems that the ugly is starting to get uglier. I need to make the ugly less ugly by writing it out. Also, I have come to realize that the ugly might not have been so ugly if we had simply had the benefit of some information and personal stories of others who had been down the road before us.

So maybe I can start to see more of the beauty and less of the ugly if I lay it all out, try to infuse a little humor and make it available for someone else to have the benefit of my hindsight (someone's a little full of herself tonight!).

The form this little history lesson will take is: Christmas Letters.

You know, those fabulous little letters that are sent out to let everyone know what a wonderful and joyous life people have been living in the past year. Yah. I hate those letters. I always thought they rang false way back when and now, even though I know that most of those letters are simply glitter lipstick on a pig, there is a part of me that is jealous that those people even have time to think about putting lipstick on a pig. And then I feel inadequate and ungrateful and even worse for not wanting to participate in the joy that others seem to be experiencing. Hmm. Sounds to me like this project will help me work through my deep seated issues with Christmas Letters too!

Merry Christmas!

May the joy of the season and shine of the lights blah blah blah blah. Blech!

(Next installment coming soon.)

Very truly yours,

Mrs. Mayhem

Psychiatry from the patient POV

There are two kinds of psychiatrists in the world... The Bad & Ugly and The Good

Unfortunately, my husband got the one we are likely the most familiar with...

The Bad & Ugly
First, my husband suffers from chronic pain. Not a little pain, but a lot of pain. And it's been going on for years. Like 30 years.

For 12 years it was misdiagnosed as treatment resistant, type 2, bipolar disorder and he had a quack for a psychiatrist. Here is just a taste...

"Doc, I'm in pain," said my husband.

"You're bipolar. It's only depression," said the doc. "I know what will help. MORE SEROQUEL!" 

"But, Doc, I can't function on that stuff. Can't we find something else?"

"If you are not treatment compliant, I will have to have you committed," scolded the doctor.

"Oh. Don't do that! I will take your medicine. But how can I stay awake to do stuff?" 

 "That's easy," said the doc. "I'll prescribe you amphetta. Just take that every morning. You'll be wide awake then!"

****** Two days later

"Doctor Quack? Hi, this is Mama Mayhem, I'm Husband Mayhem's wife. He took that amphetta stuff you prescribed and just spent three hours IMing me at work talking about how I am cheating on him, hate him and how he is going to get even with me. I called a friend to pick up the kids from school because he is scaring me so bad. What is that stuff? What can we do?"

"Well, Mrs. Mayhem, I don't know why Husband decided to take that amphetta stuff. Obviously he did not make a good decision there. Tell him to stop taking it. That should calm things down. Oh and just to make sure he is OK, I will prescribe him MORE SEROQUEL!"

So, um, yah. That pretty much sums up that situation.

I was fortunate enough to get the higher caliber kind of psychiatrist...

The Good
I was diagnosed in 2006 as having type II bipolar disorder. Once I was stabilized on my meds, I needed one tiny little tweak.

"Doctor, I need to go off the Seroquel. You see, last night, my eight year old daughter had an asthma flare. When she came into my room to get me, I told her to go downstairs and start her nebulizer treatment then I went back to sleep! Now, I DID finally drag myself into "MOM" mode but this just can't happen again. It is not safe for my kids!"

"You are absolutely right, Mama," said the doctor. "I am going to find you a slot on today's schedule so that we can figure something else out."

So, kids, if your psychiatrist does not seem to listen to you, FIND ONE WHO WILL!

I wish we had seen how bad off my husband was with his first psychiatrist. He was still labeled as bipolar II with the second one but when Mr. Mayhem complained about the side effects, doc II listened and worked with him. It made a huge difference to my husband.